A State of Confusion
by Ellie-ellie
Summary: not all love is sweet and satisfying : SORAKAIRI


**A State of Confusion**

Lies, all lies. Everything he had told her was a lie to her ears. All the promises, the dreams, they were all fairy tales and nothing more.

Tears streamed down her porcelain colored skin, all the memories flooding her like a wave.

How she wanted to die at that moment.

She couldn't really blame him though; it was partially her fault to; though she hated to admit it. She was the one who rejected him in the end.

"Sora Hikari what have you done to me?" The girl whispered. She lay there, sprawled out across her bed; a distant look in her eyes. She was just lying there, staring at the ceiling; a million questions running through her mind.

She had moved away from him 3 months ago, so far away. She hadn't realized how much he had impacted her till now; it hurt so badly.

Their story you ask? They, as in Sora and Kairi, had dated for over a year. They were the perfect couple; or at least that's what everyone thought.

She had fallen in love with him; he had fallen in love with her. Now they were nothing more than close friends; almost siblings

But that hole, that hole that could never be filled no matter how hard she tried, it would always be there. It was that hole that she tried to fill with relationships, friends, anger, emotion, anything.

It killed her, it tore at her like a thousand sharpened knives. It brought her so much pain.

She wanted to take it all back, every single word.

_FLASHBACK_

"_Kairi…I think that maybe this relationship should end." A spiky hair boy whispered. You could clearly see that he didn't want what he was suggesting, but something told him so otherwise._

"_S…Sora? You're kidding right; this is some kind of cruel joke?" Kairi asked, hoping that maybe this was just a dream._

"_Kairi, I know you like my friend Riku. It's ok though, we can just be friends."_

"_I don't like him!" She cried, grabbing onto Sora's arm, "Please, don't leave me like this."_

"_I'm sorry." He whispered, "We're over." With that he walked off._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

She started crying again, those words, those dreadful words. She had never liked his friend 'Riku'; nor would she ever. But somehow that so called friend ended the perfect relationship; HER perfect relationship.

She punched the pillow, her anger getting the best of her, "Why me?" She whispered, "Why?"

Over the past 3 months, though she had been struggling over her loss that occurred almost 2 years ago, she had hoped to move on.

Then she had met a guy. He wasn't a replacement for Sora; no he could never do that. But in a way, he filled that hole.

But he didn't love her, no he only wanted to be friends.

This killed Kairi even more. She hadn't liked anybody for two whole years; the second she did, he didn't like her back. His name was Roxas.

Roxas was nothing more than a friend though, he had someone else on his mind, someone else that he held dear to him. Though he and Kairi had bonded over the past 3 months, she knew they would never get any farther than where they were at.

Plus she still had that one place in her heart for her first love that just wouldn't go away.

They were supposed to get married one day, that's what they're family's said anyways.

His family loved her dearly; she was like a daughter to them; just like she was a sister to Sora, as she would always be.

_FLASHBACK_

"_Kairi…I…" Sora looked embarrassed, looking down at the ground so she couldn't see his blushing face, "I wanted to know if…if we could try again."_

_Kairi turned away, tears swelling up in her violet orbs, "Sora, you know I can never take you back."_

"_It's fine." Sora said, trying to cover up the pain inside him, "I understand; you'll always just think of me as a brother right? I think I can live with that though, as long as I know you love me in some sort of way."_

_END OF FLASHBACK_

Rejection, it was so hard to bare with. She had rejected him, she was scared, she was hurting, and she was lost.

But most of all, she was hopeless and broken.

But what could you expect? She was naïve, foolish, and she was in love; but how could she tell then? How could she tell that those words she had spoken would make her grieve the most in the end?

Now she really wanted to die.

What hurt her even more though was how protective he was over her. When he found out about her new friend Roxas, he immediately had suspicions.

He continuously asked her if she liked him; every time she denied. Whether she denied or not though, Sora still hated him. The fact that someone was taking his place, even if it wasn't in the same way, killed him inside. He still loved her; more than a friend as he always would.

But she was his sister, she was nothing more.

Kairi placed her hand over her heart, feeling it as it beat against her chest. How she hated this emptiness she felt; how she would do anything to let it go, to feel whole again.

No, she didn't need a boyfriend to feel complete; she just needed someone to hold, someone to cry on, someone to love.

Someone she couldn't have, someone that she couldn't find.

Kairi stood up from her bed, wiping the tears from her smooth skin. She slowly walked over to a mirror, looking in its frame at herself.

She looked so pale, so helpless, and so alone.

She hated how she looked.

"I don't want to be alone…" She whispered to the image in the mirror, "I want you back Sora Hikari, but I can't have you back."

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**Ok so I'm not feeling well right now and I just kind of had to get out my emotions somehow**

**So I decided to type a oneshot so that the chapters to all my stories wouldn't end up depressing**

**I hope you liked it though**

**Make sure to review**


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